Ok, this title is 100% stolen from one of my favorite leadership bloggers, Dan Rockwell. You can read his post, and I know you will gain something from it!
There is something about his title that stopped me and made me think. My take on “the persecution of joy” is more specific to school leaders and probably not as insightful!
One of the first things I had to relearn when I transitioned from superintendent to Executive Director was how to “read the room.” Or, more accurately, how impossible it is to read a room full of superintendents.
If you’ve ever presented to a group of superintendents, you know exactly what I mean. Their faces give you nothing—no nods of approval, no subtle frowns of disagreement, just a wall of carefully neutral expressions.
And there’s a reason for that.
The Superintendent’s Public Face
A superintendent is always on stage. Whether they’re speaking at a board meeting, walking the halls, or grabbing a coffee at the local gas station, someone is always watching—staff, parents, board members, community leaders—constantly trying to decode what they’re thinking.
Because of this, superintendents develop an incredible ability to control their non-verbal cues. They flatten their expressions, keep their reactions in check, and become experts at revealing nothing. This prevents people from misinterpreting their thoughts and hijacking the district’s narrative.
But this level of control comes at a cost.
When Emotional Control Becomes Emotional Numbness
Dan recently wrote about how words can steal our joy. I’d argue that the way we control our bodies does the same thing.
If you spend years suppressing your outward emotions, something strange happens—your inner emotions start following suit. The more you practice appearing neutral, the harder it becomes to genuinely feel joy, excitement, or connection in your work.
I’ve seen it happen. A superintendent who once loved their job, felt energized by solving problems, and was deeply connected to their school community eventually becomes an emotional zombie—going through the motions but feeling nothing.
So, how do you avoid that fate?
Three Ways to Keep Your Joy as a School Leader
1. Have a Life Outside of Work
This sounds obvious, but too many school leaders let their entire identity revolve around their role. Find something outside of work that has nothing to do with being a superintendent—a hobby, a nonprofit, a faith community—anything that allows you to be fully yourself without the weight of leadership expectations.
2. Set the Right Ground Rules at Work
I’ve made a habit of telling people how I think. When I’m deep in thought during a meeting, it’s messy—I hold my head in my hands, lean back in my chair, fidget constantly, and probably look like I’m having a medical emergency.
So, I tell my team upfront: “Don’t read anything into this. It’s just how I process.” That simple ground rule gives me the freedom to be expressive and fully engage without worrying about how others will interpret my body language.
3. Build Relationships Where You Can Be Yourself
Too often, superintendents only engage in transactional relationships—conversations built around solving problems, negotiating, or managing expectations. But every leader needs real relationships—people they can be open with, laugh with, and be themselves around.
This could be a trusted mentor, a professional network, or a peer outside of education who understands leadership pressures but doesn’t see you as just your job title. If you don’t have those relationships, you need to build them. No one can lead well in complete isolation. Honestly, this is the one I personally struggle with the most!
Final Thought
If you spend too much time controlling your outer world, your inner world will suffer.
No leadership position—no matter how important—is worth losing your ability to feel joy, connection, and meaning in your work.
What are you doing to make sure that doesn’t happen?
